I love Facebook...maybe too much but even I have set my limits and mentally stop myself from getting carried away. I like it because I post what's going on in my life...mostly good. I don't want to post negative or bad stuff because I feel like it is drawing too much attention. But that is a symptom of how conscious people have become of posting things on Facebook.
The real reason I am writing this is because of people who post too much information on Facebook. I just want to list three examples.
1. Do not post details that should be private about your job. Another person who I know is a grad student and teacher. He has openly posted his gripes about students multiple times and other times, he will blast the school he teaches/studies at. NEVER blast students on social media...and especially if you do not have a full-time job yet and hope to graduate in a couple years.
2. A friend of mine went through a tough divorce last year...as the break up and divorce was proceding, he posted gripes about his soon-to-be ex as well as her parenting abilities and things she supposedly did. If a divorce is pending in court, this was probably not a smart move.
3. I get that sometimes it is important to let others know how a loved one is doing if they are sick or in the hospital. I understand that. BUT I do not get people who post pictures of injuries or grotesque photos of injuries. I don't want to see that!
Please feel free to add your "do not post" or what you cannot stand that people post on Facebook comment. What are your thoughts?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Jobs and Relationships
It's been so long since my last blog post. I feel the need to write. For a long time, I have compared jobs to relationships and vice versa. We are looking for "the one"...whether it's a job or the signficant other. I strongly believe the two have a lot in common.
For both...
You want to make a great first impression.
You want growth in both.
You don't want to cheat on either. If you are cheating, what you have currently going on is not satisfying you. Or it is not giving you something you need or deserve.
You want good, open communication.
You want to have input in your future.
You want "the one" you find to be your last one.
If there's bad news, you would like to be treated as an adult and treated with respect. Meaning, you should be talked to in person and not in a memo or e-mail.
And vice versa, if you have to leave, do it respectfully. Be a good person. Show that you have class.
The transition process from one to another can be awkward and requires time.
In the Business Communication class I teach, I say to my students all the time to treat people like how you would like to be treated. The Golden Rule. Even if you have to fire an employee and it is unpleasant, do them the favor and tell them in person. It could be a learning experience for them as well as for you. I am such a huge believer in this. I try to treat students and colleagues with a positive attitude and support them.
Over my career in which I have worked numerous jobs, I have noticed that the "rules" I have listed in my comparison to relationships, usually hold true.
For both...
You want to make a great first impression.
You want growth in both.
You don't want to cheat on either. If you are cheating, what you have currently going on is not satisfying you. Or it is not giving you something you need or deserve.
You want good, open communication.
You want to have input in your future.
You want "the one" you find to be your last one.
If there's bad news, you would like to be treated as an adult and treated with respect. Meaning, you should be talked to in person and not in a memo or e-mail.
And vice versa, if you have to leave, do it respectfully. Be a good person. Show that you have class.
The transition process from one to another can be awkward and requires time.
In the Business Communication class I teach, I say to my students all the time to treat people like how you would like to be treated. The Golden Rule. Even if you have to fire an employee and it is unpleasant, do them the favor and tell them in person. It could be a learning experience for them as well as for you. I am such a huge believer in this. I try to treat students and colleagues with a positive attitude and support them.
Over my career in which I have worked numerous jobs, I have noticed that the "rules" I have listed in my comparison to relationships, usually hold true.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Newswriting issue
Sorry it's been so long between posts but I had to write something after seeing this story on the local news.
TOLEDO, OH (WTOL) - Anferney Fontenet, 16, has been sentenced for raping a woman with Asperger's syndrome alongside a Toledo road.
As the judge handed down the punishment of 18 years in prison, the victim watched from a monitor in another part of the courthouse and Fontenet shed tears.
Judge Stacy Cook says Fontenet has no control over his impulses and that makes him a danger to the community.
The victim's mom read a letter her daughter wrote saying how the rape and robbery changed her life forever.
Fontenet had a few words to say in court too.
"I'd like to apologize to the victim and her family. I didn't intend for any of this to happen, but I'm not going to make an excuse for it, but what I did was not right. What I did was wrong."
The victim's family is glad this boy is off the streets.
"I don't feel satisfied. I don't feel dissatisfied. I am happy he's off the streets so he doesn't hurt anyone else, but I'm not in for revenge," the victim's mother said.
Fontenet will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. He says he plans on appealing the sentence.
****My only question with this story is why is it relevant that the victim had Asperger's syndrome? Why is she identified by her illness?
TOLEDO, OH (WTOL) - Anferney Fontenet, 16, has been sentenced for raping a woman with Asperger's syndrome alongside a Toledo road.
As the judge handed down the punishment of 18 years in prison, the victim watched from a monitor in another part of the courthouse and Fontenet shed tears.
Judge Stacy Cook says Fontenet has no control over his impulses and that makes him a danger to the community.
The victim's mom read a letter her daughter wrote saying how the rape and robbery changed her life forever.
Fontenet had a few words to say in court too.
"I'd like to apologize to the victim and her family. I didn't intend for any of this to happen, but I'm not going to make an excuse for it, but what I did was not right. What I did was wrong."
The victim's family is glad this boy is off the streets.
"I don't feel satisfied. I don't feel dissatisfied. I am happy he's off the streets so he doesn't hurt anyone else, but I'm not in for revenge," the victim's mother said.
Fontenet will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. He says he plans on appealing the sentence.
****My only question with this story is why is it relevant that the victim had Asperger's syndrome? Why is she identified by her illness?
Sunday, August 22, 2010
You never know who you'll run into...
Ok, so here's a story...
I was at Kroger's on Main Street in Bowling Green, on the north end of town. At least I think it's Main Street. This was this past Saturday night. I was on my way to a birthday party. I just filled my gas tank and was waiting to turn left to go south...leaving Kroger's. I'm behind a white Chevy Caprice Classic. All of a sudden, the car puts it in reverse and starts backing up. I can't go anywhere because a car is behind me. I lay on my horn a couple times. The car kept coming and hit me!!!! Didn't seem major but the car hit me enough to get my attention. Of course, the light turns green. The white car turns left. I'm pissed. I follow the car. I'm honking my horn and flashing my lights every other block. The car keeps going. I call BG Police....who are busy with the Tractor Pull. I read off the license plate number and took a picture of the car with my phone. As I'm on the phone with BG Police, I am calling out what direction I am going and what streets I'm passing. Every so often, again, I flashed my lights and honked my horn. I noticed the passenger turned around and looked. I pointed to the side of the road as if to say, "HEY, PULL OVER!" I even yelled that out the window. We were now five miles away from Kroger's. We went by the fairgrounds where the tractor pull was going on. We never went faster than 40 mph. Eventually, I got transfered to the Wood County Sheriff's Department. I followed the car to a little town called Tontogany. Otsego High School is not that far away. We were now about 6 miles from where the "chase" started. The car pulled into a driveway. I parked. The passenger got out. She was a short woman...a little rough around the edges. I said, "You hit my car." She said, "no, we didn't." I said, "Yes, you did....back at Kroger's. We were sitting at the light waiting to turn onto Main....you started to back up and I laid on my horn and you hit me." The woman got really nervous and pulled out a cigarette and was shaking. I looked at the front of my car and really couldn't see any major damage. There might have been some scratches in the grill or something but nothing big. Anyway, then, the driver gets out. She's probably in her mid-60s. There's a handicap accessible placard in her rearview mirror. She struggled to make it over to me and the other woman, who as it turned out, was her sister. The driver, was missing teeth and walked (really struggled to walk) with a cane. She didn't know or believed she hit me either. She thought I was tail-gating her. After talking to her and her sister, the driver told me she is homeless. Her car is pretty much the only thing she owns. She has no phone. She lives in a mission in Toledo. She also told me she had been the victim of a break-in and had been robbed recently in Toledo. Her sister lives in a room at the house of a friend we were at parked at. She has a pre-paid phone. Both are looking for work. The driver was overly apologetic and seemed to be getting upset that she hit me and didn't realize it. The sheriff's department told me BG Police would follow up with them when I told them I live in Toledo. However, after hearing how down on their luck both women were, I decided this wasn't worth it. They don't need the trouble. I told them to forget about it. Just then, a Wood County Sheriff's Department officer pulls up. He showed me a message from the BG Police that basically said that again, they would follow up if I wanted to. I told him to forget about it. The ladies thanked me and said I was a very nice guy. I left and went on my way to the birthday party but man, it really taught me a lesson about waiting to judge somebody before I get all the facts. Here I was thinking, "what kind of a-hole hits me and keeps driving?" And then after talking to these two ladies, I found out they were super nice and didn't mean it all. And in the end, I ended up wishing I could have done more to help them.
I was at Kroger's on Main Street in Bowling Green, on the north end of town. At least I think it's Main Street. This was this past Saturday night. I was on my way to a birthday party. I just filled my gas tank and was waiting to turn left to go south...leaving Kroger's. I'm behind a white Chevy Caprice Classic. All of a sudden, the car puts it in reverse and starts backing up. I can't go anywhere because a car is behind me. I lay on my horn a couple times. The car kept coming and hit me!!!! Didn't seem major but the car hit me enough to get my attention. Of course, the light turns green. The white car turns left. I'm pissed. I follow the car. I'm honking my horn and flashing my lights every other block. The car keeps going. I call BG Police....who are busy with the Tractor Pull. I read off the license plate number and took a picture of the car with my phone. As I'm on the phone with BG Police, I am calling out what direction I am going and what streets I'm passing. Every so often, again, I flashed my lights and honked my horn. I noticed the passenger turned around and looked. I pointed to the side of the road as if to say, "HEY, PULL OVER!" I even yelled that out the window. We were now five miles away from Kroger's. We went by the fairgrounds where the tractor pull was going on. We never went faster than 40 mph. Eventually, I got transfered to the Wood County Sheriff's Department. I followed the car to a little town called Tontogany. Otsego High School is not that far away. We were now about 6 miles from where the "chase" started. The car pulled into a driveway. I parked. The passenger got out. She was a short woman...a little rough around the edges. I said, "You hit my car." She said, "no, we didn't." I said, "Yes, you did....back at Kroger's. We were sitting at the light waiting to turn onto Main....you started to back up and I laid on my horn and you hit me." The woman got really nervous and pulled out a cigarette and was shaking. I looked at the front of my car and really couldn't see any major damage. There might have been some scratches in the grill or something but nothing big. Anyway, then, the driver gets out. She's probably in her mid-60s. There's a handicap accessible placard in her rearview mirror. She struggled to make it over to me and the other woman, who as it turned out, was her sister. The driver, was missing teeth and walked (really struggled to walk) with a cane. She didn't know or believed she hit me either. She thought I was tail-gating her. After talking to her and her sister, the driver told me she is homeless. Her car is pretty much the only thing she owns. She has no phone. She lives in a mission in Toledo. She also told me she had been the victim of a break-in and had been robbed recently in Toledo. Her sister lives in a room at the house of a friend we were at parked at. She has a pre-paid phone. Both are looking for work. The driver was overly apologetic and seemed to be getting upset that she hit me and didn't realize it. The sheriff's department told me BG Police would follow up with them when I told them I live in Toledo. However, after hearing how down on their luck both women were, I decided this wasn't worth it. They don't need the trouble. I told them to forget about it. Just then, a Wood County Sheriff's Department officer pulls up. He showed me a message from the BG Police that basically said that again, they would follow up if I wanted to. I told him to forget about it. The ladies thanked me and said I was a very nice guy. I left and went on my way to the birthday party but man, it really taught me a lesson about waiting to judge somebody before I get all the facts. Here I was thinking, "what kind of a-hole hits me and keeps driving?" And then after talking to these two ladies, I found out they were super nice and didn't mean it all. And in the end, I ended up wishing I could have done more to help them.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Things on my mind as I go through school.
Let me first apologize for writing about my doctoral program experience. I know not everyone can get into this but there are a lot of lessons that apply to areas outside of school.
First, my adviser, Dr. Ewart Skinner, said to me, "Think of the end....now." In other words, what I do now has a direct bearing on what happens when I graduate and look for jobs if I want to move around or even stay at Toledo. In terms of what I am doing now, more specifically, he meant the theory I specialize in as well as the research method is something I will carry with me throughout my doctoral student career and then when I apply for jobs or stay at Toledo, I can talk about my areas of specialty.
Second, think about your audience. My research interest is studying how pregnant teens and teen moms identify with pregnancy themes in the media like tv shows and movies. We have seen people blame the media for glamorizing pregnancy and making it more appealing to teens. To me, this has practical applications. I want to talk to teens about the media's impact. Once my research is completed, I want people, especially teens, to read it. In my opinion, there is a lot of academic research that seems to float in this cloud above people that only academic types read. I don't see the point in doing research if it does not benefit people in some way. So, to shorten up my point, basically, who is the audience? Who will read or hear your research? How will it impact them?
Lastly, you are constantly making an impression on somebody. What I mean by that is no matter what happens, what assignment you have, you are always "interviewing." Someone has their eye on you. The faculty in the Media and Communication Department at BGSU is strong and have published a ton of research articles and have connections. While many are set in where they are, they might get a call from a professor they know at another university asking if they know of someone who they think would make a good hire. I try to keep that in mind. I don't want to be the student who gets spoken of as, "yeah, he tries hard but doesn't seem to give it his all" or "he goes through the motions a lot." Not cool.
First, my adviser, Dr. Ewart Skinner, said to me, "Think of the end....now." In other words, what I do now has a direct bearing on what happens when I graduate and look for jobs if I want to move around or even stay at Toledo. In terms of what I am doing now, more specifically, he meant the theory I specialize in as well as the research method is something I will carry with me throughout my doctoral student career and then when I apply for jobs or stay at Toledo, I can talk about my areas of specialty.
Second, think about your audience. My research interest is studying how pregnant teens and teen moms identify with pregnancy themes in the media like tv shows and movies. We have seen people blame the media for glamorizing pregnancy and making it more appealing to teens. To me, this has practical applications. I want to talk to teens about the media's impact. Once my research is completed, I want people, especially teens, to read it. In my opinion, there is a lot of academic research that seems to float in this cloud above people that only academic types read. I don't see the point in doing research if it does not benefit people in some way. So, to shorten up my point, basically, who is the audience? Who will read or hear your research? How will it impact them?
Lastly, you are constantly making an impression on somebody. What I mean by that is no matter what happens, what assignment you have, you are always "interviewing." Someone has their eye on you. The faculty in the Media and Communication Department at BGSU is strong and have published a ton of research articles and have connections. While many are set in where they are, they might get a call from a professor they know at another university asking if they know of someone who they think would make a good hire. I try to keep that in mind. I don't want to be the student who gets spoken of as, "yeah, he tries hard but doesn't seem to give it his all" or "he goes through the motions a lot." Not cool.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
So what?
As a doctoral student at Bowling Green State University, I along with my fellow students have a wide variety of research interests. However, it seems we are always trying to answer the question, "SO WHAT?". Or "why should people care?" One of my all-time favorite professors at Kent State, the late Larry Hugenberg once said, "you could probably take about 99 percent of all academic research and throw it in a pile in the parking lot and burn it (due to the so what question)." There is an issue with academia in that on one hand, you are looked at as a "sell out" if you try to reach beyond the academic journals and go "mainstream" to reach a wider audience BUT on the other hand, if you keep your research interests or projects inside the academic circles, who really benefits from your research? Case in point: my best friend here in Toledo did her dissertation on the retention of minority students in medical colleges across the country. She loooked at the factors that cause minority medical students who stay in the program and the factors that cause students to drop out. I applaud her massive effort to gather data and assemble her dissertation. Her dissertation led her to do presentations at several conferences across the country and it led to her getting a promotion at the University of Toledo. My friend was truly motivated to carry out her research because it was personal to her and she wanted to make a difference. My friend's work could not have made the impact it has if she would have confined it to academic journals. Thankfully, one of my professors said recently that one of the major academic communication organizations is softening its stance on reaching out beyond its walls to a wider audience.
Ironically, the Plain Dealer of Cleveland has an article (May 30, 2010) about a guy who is battling an issue to publish his research about a possible cancer-cell-killing project of his.
http://www.cleveland.com/medical/index.ssf/2010/05/cleveland_state_university_pro.html
Ironically, the Plain Dealer of Cleveland has an article (May 30, 2010) about a guy who is battling an issue to publish his research about a possible cancer-cell-killing project of his.
http://www.cleveland.com/medical/index.ssf/2010/05/cleveland_state_university_pro.html
Friday, April 23, 2010
Food and Memories
I find it oddly fascinating how a restaurant or food can trigger memories. For example, earlier this week, I was hungry and in a hurry. So I went through the drive-through at Arby's and got two little roast beef sandwiches. The sandwiches immediately made me think of my late dad, who passed away last year. He loved Arby's sandwiches.
Another place I went to recently was Boston Market. I think they have really good food there. Here's my issue. I had a close relative who was in a mental institution and I would go visit that relative several times. I would stop at the nearby Boston Market before going to see the relative. So, I developed a correlation between visits to the mental hospital and Boston Market. Even now that I am in Toledo, I still have trouble eating in the restaurant because it makes me think of going to a mental hospital. This time though, I got my food to go because I didn't want to sit in the store.
Dairy Queen is another place that brings back memories. When I worked in TV, I would go to Berea with one of the greatest guys I know. On the way back from Berea on the turnpike, we would stop in Richfield at the Dairy Queen. My friend has a stomach lined with tin. He eats all kinds of stuff that should melt paint off a car. It wouldn't be unusual for my buddy to get a chili dog and a burger at DQ. Anyway, every time we stopped, we had an absolute blast.
There are more food memories. I just had to share the ones I experienced or thought of recently.
Another place I went to recently was Boston Market. I think they have really good food there. Here's my issue. I had a close relative who was in a mental institution and I would go visit that relative several times. I would stop at the nearby Boston Market before going to see the relative. So, I developed a correlation between visits to the mental hospital and Boston Market. Even now that I am in Toledo, I still have trouble eating in the restaurant because it makes me think of going to a mental hospital. This time though, I got my food to go because I didn't want to sit in the store.
Dairy Queen is another place that brings back memories. When I worked in TV, I would go to Berea with one of the greatest guys I know. On the way back from Berea on the turnpike, we would stop in Richfield at the Dairy Queen. My friend has a stomach lined with tin. He eats all kinds of stuff that should melt paint off a car. It wouldn't be unusual for my buddy to get a chili dog and a burger at DQ. Anyway, every time we stopped, we had an absolute blast.
There are more food memories. I just had to share the ones I experienced or thought of recently.
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